blah to the double blah - 08.29.01 - 3:20 pm
Look!

Grr.

All that roaming around the house, chainsmoking, tossing my razors, preparing myself for a hospital visit and I'm not going today. My friend went weird and said we'll go another time. I haven't the faintest fucking clue what that was all about, but I'm not going to question her. She seems to be dealing w/this all quite well...too well. And I'm adding her to my list of people to lose sleep over.

I have noticed that when things upset me, I do not necassarily express myself regarding the resulting emotions. Instead, I focus on minor things. Things that require little use of feeling.

And I start talking like a robot.

Anyway, I've been trying to quit chewing on ice (she writes as she crunches an ice cube). I cracked a tooth a few nights ago and got a bitch slap from reality: Hey! Ice is hard! It hurts you teeth! Stop!

But here I am, chewing ice. I am a fucking moron.

I will overcome this affliction. Yes, yes I will. I like my molars. They're cute. Why would I want to harm them? Poor things.

Yes, I am bored and yes, I am abusing this diary as a way to keep my brain from venturing towards less productive, more destructive activities. Hey, I found tequila. And fircrackers. It's good that my hands are busy right now.

My mother and I are planning an outing to Target (pronounced in this household as Tar-git) this afternoon to buy bras.

When life starts fucking you up, go buy undies.

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