Shitty Book - 06.05.02 - 11:33 am
Look!

I'm sorry the updates have been lacking lately. I've been working, yes, but I haven't exactly felt the need to write. Every time I would sit down to type out an entry, I would either A) think it sucks after three lines and delete it or B) get distracted and forget.

But, hey, I'm here now.

And I read a shitty book.

The one thing that can totally ruin my week is reading a shitty book. Especially when I've been forcing myself to read different authors cuz I have only been reading the same authors over and over again for the past year.

So anyway, one night as I was leaving the library, I grabbed a book from the to-be-shelved cart. I had been looking at this book the whole night, thinking it looked interesting, so I was excited to read it when I got home.

By the second page, the sucking began.

The book was about a sassy screenwriter in her late-twenties looking for love. All her friends were getting hitched and she saw her life flashing blah blah blah.

I suck at summaries.

Anyhoo, this book didn't end in the typical way most romances do...i.e. the boy the girl has been pining over falls in love w/her/admits to being in love w/her, they get married, happy!happy!happy! Instead, the boy tells girl he loves her BUT he has a live-in girlfriend who is pregnant w/his child. They decide to be fuck-buddies. Cue lots of quasi-philosophical ramblings and end story.

Now, the plot (while cliched and really fucking stupid) wasn't the part that designated this a shitty book. No. It was the way it was written.

First, you so knew the girl in the book was the author. I hate that. I hate that a lot. If you're going to put yourself in your story, make sure there are some differences, so the reader doesn't know for sure it really is you. That way, when you describe the character as sassy and sharp and witty and oh so grand!, the reader doesn't automatically hate you.

Second, the author kept throwing in these little phrases like The Zone or sperm-catchers and then writing 'Let me explain.' It was like reading a 200 page issue of Cosmo.

And third. Well, she took a kind of cool title and used it for a book that had nothing to do w/said title. Ass. Yeah, I know, that's a petty reason. Sorry.

So, yeah. I'm in a pissy mood because I read a shitty book.

To top it off, the book I'm reading now is quickly becoming another shitty book. The author has used eight double negatives in the first thirty pages and over half of them are not in the dialogue.

I don't think I'll be finishing that one.

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