19 - 12.02.02 - 11:58 am
Look!

OK. So last night I did something very stupid. Something I have not done in over four months. Specifics be damned. I don't want to talk about it. Actually, even if I did want to talk about it, I don't think I could. It was one of those "Oh, fuck. I don't feel right." nights that kinda of just creep up on you like a snake stalking a lizard.

Today, I would be sitting here, hating myself for slipping, but I actually thought about it in a rational manner. It's been four months. Before that, it had been four months. I can't remember before that, but you see where I'm going with this, no?

Once every four months is better than once every three days. This is good. Not great. But good.

Enough of this.

I got to chase Howie around the living room at 7:14 this morning. He didn't seem to care that it was freezing cold and my chest hurt from too many cigarettes the night before. He wanted out. And that's OK. Because once he got over the intial rush of freedom, he waddled over to me and we walked out to his pen, together. A girl and her duck.

Speaking of ducks, one of the girls has herself a nest. With nine eggs. I am not going to think about the other two girls because right now: (9 eggs = 9 ducklings) + 6 ducklings + 1 Muschovy + 1 Howie = 17 ducks.

Shit.

But you should never count your eggs before they hatch.

I have to do some laundry and eat something. I'm a little light-headed and, for once, I am not enjoying it.

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