HAPPY FUCKING HALLOWEEN!!!

I don't know if it's the gallons of coffee running through my veins or the fact I haven't eaten all day or maybe it's the hour of hardcore decorating I just did, but I'm in the spirit, baby. Yeah. It doesn't matter that I probably won't do anything particularly spectacular. It's Halloween! H-A-double hockey sticks-o-WEEN!

I have no idea why I decided to wash my hands with diluted bleach, but now the smell is making me kind of woozy. But it's a happy kind of woozy. The It's-Halloween-and-Bad-Shit-Can-Go-Fuck-Itself-...-Repeatedly kind of woozy.

OK, so today. I was feeling weird for no damn reason and if this keeps up, I'm going to make a fucking reason, OK? I felt like I was going to cry the whole night at work and people kept giving me looks like "Are you about to cry?"

And that made me want to cry.

So, yeah. Lots of odd emotions and concerned looks and not one person got all uppity with me. I should milk this horrible state of being, shouldn't I?

But wait. There will be no talk of bad feelings on this day. No. It is Halloween and I am a happy piece of shit.

Funny story. Our power was out for an hour today and that hour is the one I spend part of getting ready for work. I bathed in the dark, dressed in the dark, and put my makeup on in the dark. I was one sexy sonofabitch, let me tell you. I was so amused at the whole putting my makeup on in the dark thing that I even decided to use mascara, which is something I usually avoid.

After trying to put some on without poking out my eye, I realized that hey, I can just sit on my front stoop and do it in the sunlight. Duh. So I'm in front of my house, sitting on the step with a pocket mirror in one hand and a mascara wand in the other when a man drives by.

"Your power out, too?" he said.

"No."

And it was then that I learned if they can't see the obvious, they sure as fuck can't catch sarcasm.

Did I mention that I was really annoyed about the power being out? Cuz I was. Really, really annoyed. I couldn't listen to my Andrew WK before work and am holding that responsible for the shittiness.

Anyway, as I was doing my makeup IN THE DARK, I had a thought. Seeing as how I was, in fact, blindly readying myself for work and had no idea what I would look like under fluorescent lights, wouldn't it be funny if LBC came in? I do believe I look like shit.

And guess which super secret boyfriend of mine showed up and smiled at me and said hi?

Hint. It's not Ice-T.

I think that whenever I see him, I get the worst deer-in-the-headlights look possible without actually being a deer in the headlights.

I can't help it. He stuns me. In a very sexy way.

Fuck.

May and I had an entire conversation about eating brains. It's amazing how much we both know about eating brains. Eating brains. Braaaaiiiiiins.

Goddamn. I love Halloween.

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