So last night I took an assload of sleeping pills, which knocked me right out, only to be wide awake come 9am. New sentence. I didn't want to get out of bed so I stared at the ceiling for an hour. And then I watched my clock radio flip through the minutes for another half an hour. Then I got up. I did some other stuff like get coffee and pet the happy! happy! puppies, and now I feel like staring at my ceiling again. Yup. I need to start listening to Black Sabbath in the morning again.

I had a neat dream, though. "Neat" in the sense that it would make a good story to tell when I run out of examples for how lazy I am.

First, I had cool hair. I don't know what made it cool, but I thought about how cool my hair was a lot.

And then I was making out with Ice-T in some kind of wooden ship. There were no pirates. Klingons, yes. Pirates, no.

(Wow. That is dangerously close to a nerd dream. Good thing I was making out with Ice-T and not Brent Spiner.)

Wait, this is the best part!

Somehow, I ended up in front of my house. I was gardening. All of a sudden, I see LBC walking down the street wearing a Phish t-shirt and a way, way too small zebra print Speedo. I dropped my pruning shears and ran to my backyard because I wanted to laugh, but didn't want to hurt his feelings.

I look around the corner and see him strutting up and down the driveway. He was at my house because my best friend stole his mail, I think. I couldn't stop laughing and ended up sitting in my back yard for the whole time he was there.

Yeah. That's it. That is all I have to talk about this morning. Oh, wait. My duck rocks. Now I'm done.

Oops. I lied. One more thing:

Last night at work, a woman spent ten minutes telling me about her hemorrhoids.

<<< TOP >>>