ARRRR! - 07.10.03 - 12:05 pm
Look!

May and I went to see Johnny Depp in Eyeliner vs. Zombie Pirates last night.

It was everything I had hoped it would be and then some. The only thing that would have made it better would be some man-love between Johnny Depp and the elf. Although, the sweaty sword fighting was pretty cool. And hello allegory! I know that's what they were trying to say, man. Johnny Depp in Eyeliner vs. Zombie Pirates is fucking DEEP and has more layers than a large onion.

OK, I haven't been sleeping that much. I don't know what I am trying to say.

Oh, wait. All you bastards who keep telling me that the Black Pearl pirates are not zombies? THE DAMNED UNDEAD. What the hell is that, huh? A FUCKING ZOMBIE. So back the fuck up.

Anyway.

Tonight is dinner with the family. I hope to god you get that Beat Happening song stuck in your head, too, cuz it's been in my head for the past week and I think it's making me insane. We're all in this together.

My aunt and uncle are down from somewhere like Missouri or Indiana and they are bringing with them my cousin's two year old son. Then there is my other cousin and her Australian lover and their newborn. They moved down here about a year ago. We will all be gathering at a local restaurant tonight for talk and food and drink.

My cousin went ahead and made reservations. At a steakhouse. The one with the billboards featuring a giant picture of a rare steak. The one that actually causes me to say, "Damn. That makes me glad I don't eat meat."

Why do I see myself only ordering booze and repeatedly asking my cousin's Australian lover to say, "A dingo ate my baby!" over and over again? Oh, yeah. CUZ I'M FUCKING PSYCHIC.

What the fuck ever. I hate this entry. It's dull and I can't seem to focus on one subject at a time. I'm gonna go climb a tree and hope something exciting happens today.

Keep your fingers crossed that I do not slit my wrists with a steak knife tonight. Small children, MEAT, family, complete strangers with blood dribbling down their chins as they talk stocks and bonds. That sounds like a really bad acid trip. And then factor in this constant feeling of not being real and hooray! Public breakdown!

At least I'll have something to write about.

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