I like bitching sometimes - 07.28.03 - 12:35 am
Look!

I know it's been, like, three days since I last updated and I apologize.

That doesn't mean this will be extra-long to make up for it, though. In fact, it will probably be shorter than usual. Cuz I'm sleepy. And my wrist hurts. For no real reason at all.

I got a new typewriter and I named it The Captain. It's a boy and non-electric. Heavy, smells of attics, grey with green keys...The Captain rules yer ass. Just so you know.

I've been typing up notes for my novel and hitting the letters makes my fingers vibrate. This weekend, May and I will be running around and taking Florida-y pictures, which will aid in the writing of this novel. Although, I can't officially start working on it until I get my books on demonology and I'm not sure how long that will take.

Damn, I hope I actually write this thing. This feeling of excitement is different, though.

Anyway, last night May, Vicky and I went to go see a movie. I'll give you three guesses as to which one we watched. And since I already know what you will call me, I say "Takes one to know one, man."

The theatre was almost full by the time we got there and I ended up sitting next to...THE MOST ANNOYING FUCKER IN THE UNIVERSE, who from now on will be know as TMAFITU. Say it out loud. It's fun.

OK. First, he smelled. Bad. Not only did he invade my personal space with his odor, he also came thisclose to touching me with his stupid, annoying shoulder.

After everything that was the least bit entertaining OR added to the story in any shape or form, he would laugh. Loudly. Sometimes it would be a guffaw and other times a chuckle. TMAFITU had a whole rainbow of laughs which he utilized during the entire 2 and a half hours. May tried to say, "I'm sorry you have to sit next to the guy who laughs inappropriately" but I didn't want to hear it.

He. Repeated. Lines. Loudly, of course. And in a very bad accent. Then he would laugh. And elbow whomever was sitting next to him and say, "Did ya hear that? AH-VOST! HAHAHAHA! AH-VOST!"

And now it's time for some audience participation. Eat some popcorn, OK? You got a couple of those annoying little husks in your mouth now, right? Don't swallow! Try to spit it out. Keep trying. Hard, isn't it? And loud, yes? HE DID THAT FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING MOVIE. When he wasn't laughing or repeating lines, he was spitting out popcorn husks. And kernels. ON TO THE FLOOR.

When I was running outside to smoke a cigarette after the movie, I said to Vicky, "You know, there would have been a bloodbath if that wasn't the seventh time I saw that movie." I actually took a little comfort in the fact that at least one person sitting by him had already seen the movie and he wasn't ruining someone's first viewing. Does this mean I'm a martyr? No? Fine.

BUT TMAFITU liked the movie, so I guess he's not that bad.

By the way...the count? For the pirate movie? Fucking EIGHT TIMES. I RULE.

I need sleep. And a life.

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