May and I went to go see Wrong Turn tonight. I was reading the local entertainment section today and found the little summary of that movie. All it took were the words "IN-BRED CANNIBALS" and I knew, just knew, we were going to see that movie.

IN-BRED CANNIBALS!

Sadly, there was no brain-eating. I always get a little bit of childlike hope in my heart that there will be brain-eating in movies about cannibals. Alas, the IN-BRED CANNIBALS bypassed the head region completely and seemed to only eat the extremities. I was bummed.

You know, I almost put up a spoiler warning before I mentioned that there was no brain-eating in this movie. Then I thought, dude, it's fucking Wrong Turn. Yeah.

We went to the diner afterwards and decided that Saturday is going to be Horror Movie Marathon night. There will be beer involved. And nachos. And since we will be watching Bad Taste, I have requested some sort of slightly gross food to eat while watching it. I'm thinking hummus. Or oh! I know! Guacamole! Hee. The last time I saw that movie, I was eating French-cut green beans straight out of the can. Traditions are what separate us from the beasts, you know.

The list so far is: Bad Taste, Leprechaun In Da Hood, Army of Darkness, Exorcist 3, and Jacob's Ladder. Movies will be added and cut as necessary. If you have any suggestions, I love to hear them. What movie(s) scared the piss out of you? The list is kind of lacking in truly scary movies and I'm not so sure Exorcist 3 will freak out May as much as it did me the first time I saw it.

Anyway, today, my dad asked me if I knew Barry Manilow broke his nose. I'm like, of course! He walked into a wall! Ha ha! That Barry. Man.

We giggled about that for several minutes.

And then the following conversation took place:

Dad- "Silly little queen."

Molly- "BARRY MANILOW IS NOT GAY!"

Dad- "Yes. He. Is."

Molly- "NO! YOU LIE! LIAR!"

Dad- "Talk to (person who does stage work at the performing arts center). She will tell you that he had a boy toy backstage."

Molly- "So what?"

Dad- "He's gay."

Did I mention that my dad and I have been having this exact same argument for going on five years now? Cuz it's true. My mom came home a couple hours later and, seeking another opinion, I asked, "Hey, Mom. Is Barry Manilow gay?" She yelled at me. "How long are you two going to argue about this?! Stop asking me if Barry Manilow is gay! My GOD."

Barry Manilow can't be gay, you guys. You know how many times I've said, shit, if only I could find a man like Barry Manilow? A lot. If he is gay, then Jesus really did listen to my prayers and sent me just what I asked for: boys I get heartbreaking crushes on, only to find out they are homosexuals. And if that is the case, then I should probably take down all those I Hate Jesus needlepoints I made while cursing my spinsterhood.

I have absolutely no idea what I am talking about anymore.

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