I'm a little tipsy. But just a little. Very redundant, though.

It rained all day. A lot of worms came out and were eaten by a duck. Noisily. And with glee. I laughed and laughed, but then I went ew. Because that is how it is when observing poultry.

The puppy and I played in the rain while Howie massacred invertebrates. I would throw the spiky elephant and she would perform an elaborate splashing ritual while trying to catch it. I splashed, too, but with simplicity. Now she is sleeping on my feet. I love my puppy more than pineapple juice.

The big bear-dog wanted to join in, but hates getting her paws wet, so she stayed on the porch. I'd come in to try to taunt her into going outside, but she would have none of that. Instead, she'd take a couple steps back and then run forward to head-butt me in the knees while making bear noises. Her tail was going a mile a minute and I forgot that she's nearing fourteen years old. I love my big bear-dog more than pineapple juice, too.

Oh, dudes, I'm getting sick! Wee! It hurts to swallow and my head weighs something like a million pounds. Keep your fingers crossed that this will morph into a full blown cold so I can buy some 666 COUGH SYRUP. I bet it tastes like the devil and sends germs to HELL. Ha ha. I'm not funny, but tipsy so I AM funny.

No word from the play dude. Words from Jerkface, but none regarding those questions I asked, like, a week ago. So, hey, check this shit. I'm even more convinced that what he has to say won't be that good, but I don't care. Why? I met someone new. Well, not really new, per say, but a former acquaintance has come back into my life. His name is Captain Morgan, 'Captain' if you're nasty.

OK, I lied. I'm drinking just for the hell of it. Really. Isn't drinking for no reason better than drinking to ease your heart? THAT'S WHAT I SAID. Dude. Besides, I'm more worried about other stuff that can't be fixed.

My hair smells like...sugar-free candy and greenery. Maybe a little thrift store, too. I like it.

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