I am really fucking exhausted right now and all I really did today was work.

Oh, and sit through TWO FUCKING HOURS of Doomsday talk and graphic pictures of smallpox. I guess that could take a lot out of a girl, come to think of it.

I had that bioterrorism class today and while it wasn't three hours like I was warned, it still sucked tepid pig ass.

Here's a summary: We're all fucked. We've got it under control. We're all fucked. We started vaccinating doctors last week. We're all fucked. If you have an emergency plan, you will be OK. We're all fucked. Why does everyone look so dour? Ha ha. We're all fucked.

Or at least that's what I got from it.

Basically, these two people stood up front, explained what smallpox was and why we should fear it. Then there was about 45 minutes of general bioterrorism talk and, yep, why we should fear it. I guess you could say it was 120+ minutes of shit I already knew, supercharged and with pictures.

Yeah, there were pictures. A slideshow to be exact and guess who was in the front row? Yeah. I sat there with my glasses way down on my nose and made up poems about bunnies. To me, the slides look like giant blobs, but still very, very gross giant blobs. I was caught off-guard with a particularly graphic photo of a child with bubonic plague and uttered "holy shit" which made the entire row of waste management employees behind me laugh. (Oh, did you think they were only showing pictures of smallpox victims? Au contraire, my little sack of creme brulee.)

Aaaah. I need a fucking hug.

Anyway, one thing that kinda reassured me in a "We are all united" kinda way, yet also scared me in a "How the hell did it come to this?" kinda way was how not a single person in that room trusted the present government. You could actually feel the skepticism and contempt coming from every individual. People were asking all these questions and when the presenter dodged the answer, asked again in a louder voice. They wanted to know why and how and who the hell profits from this mass vaccination planned for the county?

It was good to hear questions again.

After the class was over, I had an hour before I was usually scheduled to work and since I felt more like pounding my head on the pavement than shelving books, I went to the goddamn park, instead. I sat there in the sun, smoking too many fucking cigarettes even though I'm supposed to be quitting and drew a picture of a tree. To make it even better, there was a polka band playing in a nearby pavilion. Do I even need to say how fucking happy that made me?

OK, for some reason, I just thought of the Homerpalooza episode of the Simpsons when those two kids are standing there and one says, "Dude, are you being sarcastic?" And the other guy answers, "I don't even know anymore." Except I am so totally not being sarcastic. Polka is great music to listen to while getting yourself a sunburn.

And now it's time for the input section.

First, May and I (and possibly Tee) will be going to Cocoa Beach in a couple weeks and her BRAND NEW (to her) CAR has a tape deck.

Yep, you know what that means. It's mixtape time!

Spring. Songs that either speak of it or remind you of it. I would absolutely adore it if you offered some suggestions. Go!.

You? Yes, you. I looooove you.

Second, because it seems that everyone has something to say about this war, I was thinking about making a diary to showcase those entries. Like 12% Beer or Quoted, but war-like. It would be kind of neat to see it all in one place and be able to look back on it when all this shit blows over (cuz it will, right? RIGHT?) I'd use anti-war, pro-war, ambiguous, any kind of entry that offers an opinion on the present state of affairs. Except I'm wondering if this has been done before. And I won't be able to do it alone. If you think this is a good idea and would be interested in seeing something like this, let me know.

I need to get to bed now. My brain is rattling in my skull and it seems that sleep soothes it. Who'd of known?

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