POTATO SMASHER - 03.27.03 - 1:54 am
Look!

I was supposed to go to sleep early tonight so I could at least pretend that I was going to wake up early tomorrow to bake.

That's obviously not going to happen now.

I've been feeling almost violently crafty for the past couple days and bread baking has been on my mind lately. Baking bread is very good for the soul, you know. And the biceps. You can banish thoughts of clawing your heart out and get those sexy, shapely arms you've always dreamed of.

Yes. I should bake some goddamn bread.

Something else that I've been thinking about lately are rosaries. Specifically, how to make them. I think I want to learn how to make rosaries. My mother has an assload of old, broken ones that she's volunteered to give me so I can practice by fixing them and I think it would be neat.

Have I ever mentioned that I have a slight obsession with old Catholic things? One of my most favorite possessions is a glow-in-the-dark rosary from the 1960s (not exactly old, but you know what I mean). There's this place near Ocala that sells piles and piles of creepy saint paintings, old church literature and candles. This one time, I found an ancient wooden box that smelled like incense with a chipped painting of the Virgin Mary and boy, did she looked PISSED. You always see Mary looking all serene and stuff, but this box...it actually gave me chills. The box cost too much, though, so I had to pass on it.

Catholics are intense.

OK, so I had a whole long thing where I went into my religious beliefs and faith and my odd connections with Catholicism, but it was boring, so I deleted it. How about if I just say that I think Catholicism is a very interesting religion? Alright, then.

Speaking of old stuff, you know what I really want? An antique solid iron potato smasher. I wish I were kidding, but no. I've been looking for one for YEARS. It all started when I went looking for just a regular potato smasher. Cuz, you know, I hate using electrical appliances in the kitchen. Anyway, every single one that I found was plastic and lightweight. How the hell can you smash potatoes with plastic? That's not fun!

Must. Find. Fun. Potato. Smasher.

So I ended up at one of the many antique stores downtown where I came across several metal ones. Except they weren't nearly heavy enough for me.

It wasn't until about a week ago when I thought, "Hey, heavy iron. Glass bowl. Smashing. That's kinda dangerous. Maybe that's why I haven't been able to find the potato smasher of my dreams."

Yeah, this sucks. I WANT A THREATENING POTATO SMASHER, GODDAMNIT.

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