Well, I'm home and all is, more or less, well. Again, I thank you for leaving messages of support/concern. It made being back a lot easier when I found my inbox full of nice things and not ads for barnyard porn.

OK, so I have no idea what happened. Right before I left my house on Friday, I had just overheard my mom speak to my little brother about my grandfather moving in. Little brother was also on his way out of the house for the weekend. Funny, that. Anyway, two minutes later, my mom went to go pick up my grandfather. Two minutes after that, I was gone.

Saturday night, I called my father to ask about my duck. Yes, I was worried about Howie. Shut up. I asked how my grandfather was doing and my dad told me that he was back at his house. Apparently, something happened. What that something was, I will never know. I am not dumb enough to ask and if my mom tries to tell me, I will just stick my fingers in my ears and go lalalalala. In this case, the less I know, the better. So fuck maturity.

I stayed one more night at my best friends' house because, honestly, I really needed to be away from home for a little bit. The past week or so has been pretty shitty and it was good for me to spend a couple days with them.

I came home this morning and slept. A lot. I had called work on Saturday to let them know I wouldn't be in on Sunday. I kinda, sorta hit a wall and kinda, sorta fucked up my hand, so moving around books all day would have been a bad idea. I know, I know. Hit people, not walls. Or learn to express anger in a way that does not result in pain, for yourself or others. Whatever. I do have some pretty awesome bruises, though. Stay on the sunny side, yo.

Anyway, enough of this emotional shit. Did you know that Jeb! was in an airplane and that airplane got struck by lightning? Yeah. No one was hurt (plane included), so I can say HA! and not go to hell. HA!

Speaking of dumb fucking politicians and God's wrath, remember the anti-war compilation I'm making? Well, while I was staying with my friends, we decided why not make our own anti-war song? So we did. Best Friend in the World played drums, Jay played guitar and I "sang." The song is called (what else?) Fuck War, it's 40 seconds long, I go "woo!" four times and I ripped off both Edwin Starr and Propaghandhi. And I ask the always wondered question "What would Exploited do?" It's totally going on the anti-war mix. Right in between Bob Dylan and Crass.

(Half-assed attempt to ease into a different topic.)

Word association time! War. Boys. (Because, you know. That song? Nina- 99 Red Balloons? The line "This is it, boys, this is war"? Nevermind.)

Last night, I came thisclose to leaving a certain Donnas song on Jerkface's voicemail. Instead, I yelled at him for not answering his phone and then muttered something that may have been a request to call me back. I'm not sure. I was drunk. Which means I was probably mean. And I should probably apologize. Shit.

Anyway, he had called me Saturday morning and which later led to me mumbling into my bottle of Boone's Farm about how a goddamn boy made me goddamn happy even though I felt like disappearing into the goddamn woods forever and never speaking to another goddamn person again and what the fuck? Best Friend said, "What?" I said, "Blah." And then I played a rousing game of left-handed darts. Best story ever!

No, I know. There's a point and I should get to it cuz not getting to the point is annoying as fuck. Oh, shit. I forgot my point. Jerkface makes me happy? No, that's already been said. I'm angry that something as simple as a boy calling me, even though I had been up really late drinking and playing Nintendo and should have been pissed that he woke me up, makes me feel all nice and shit? Yeah, that may be it.

Or maybe the point is I really want to see him and how do I tell someone that I don't care if they make out with me or not...we can just go to the only movie theatre within ten miles and make fun of all the kids out on awkward first dates? How do you say "Listen, I just want to see you" and not make it sound like you're over him, because you're not or like you're planning some matrimonial coup, because you're not and how the hell can the same seven words cause such different assumptions?

Oh my god. I need to SHUT UP. I think I stopped making sense in regards to Jerkface about two months ago. I don't even know what's going through my head, let alone his. All I really know is I want him to call me up and say, "Hey, I'm coming over." Then we can hang out like we always do and I'll know that nothing is fucked up between us.

Ack. Shut up, Molly.

OK.

Helpful advice- If you have a bruise larger than a half dollar covering your first knuckle, do not attempt to snap you fingers as means to distract your cat from sticking his very large head into an almost full cup of coffee. Cat will ignore you and you will hurt. A lot. Instead, just laugh when Cat sneezes and splashes cold coffee all over his face. Enjoy the small things in life.

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