Bonus second entry! I sure am talkative when sick as fuck.

I really want to talk to my best friend and she doesn't have an answering machine so I can't ramble into it for ten minutes, which would probably alleviate the urge. Come to think of it, that's probably why she doesn't have an answering machine.

Yeah.

I was all bright-eyed and fucking bushy tailed this morning at 9. OK, not really. I actually sat up really fast, got a huge head rush, watched the walls melt into pretty puddles of something that looked like nail polish and then realized that I was pretty damn awake. Not necessarily coherent, just up.

So I shuffled into my kitchen, chugged some more cough syrup and fell back asleep until the heat woke me up. Which was at, like, 10:30.

Anyway, that small tug of wander-lust I felt last night has turned into a full pounding in the back of my head. It kinda sounds like "let'sgolet'sgolet'sgolet'sgolet'sgo." I spent the morning figuring out money and time and everything is OK if I'm just smart about it and maintain my low standard of living. I can pay those hospital bills and work's no big deal. Besides, they're worried. They wonder how come I have so many accidents. They'll understand.

So it's all good.

Except for where.

How hard is it to figure out where you want to go when you want to go everywhere?

New York, D.C., Savannah, Portland, anywhere in California, I've never been west of the Mississippi so how about Colorado? Indiana has James Dean and New England has Sylvia Plath. Baltimore has John Waters and Wisconsin has that cute boy factory I've been hearing so much about. Then there's Richmond and Memphis and New Orleans. The Violent Femmes wrote a song about going to Chicago and Conor Oberst mentions it, too. I want to see the places in the songs.

OK, I'm starting to get all kinds of crazy. I kinda feel like crying. Aaah. Is this a mid-life crisis? Cuz I'm starting to feel different and it's like I can't sleep until I figure out one more thing about life and it's just questions, questions, questions all the time. It's this manic need to know and see and do. I know there is an answer or a revelation, but am pretty sure it can only be found while balancing on fallen beams from an old factory in Pennsylvania.

Factories. I want to see some dead factories. I like those.

I need to get the fuck out of here.

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