I love when I'm at work, just chilling and eating these really good veggie chip things that my coworker brought in as contraband. And then I look up and see that creepy bastard from the diner coming in, watching me with a creepy-bastard smile on his face.

This makes me so butt-clenchingly joyous that I may never have to take a shit again.

It's good that I haven't seen LBC in over two weeks because this is a lesson in purity or something.

I adore men who walk that fine line between human and nut-grabbing baboon.*

It makes me happy when Mamita and Francesca play their new favorite game "I'm Gonna Bite Your Head Because It's FUN! No, I'm Going To Bite Your Head Because It's Funner!" Hee.

*This is a rant for which I will break the theme of this entry. Last night at the diner, there was this group of four people: a heterosexual couple and two single men. They were all probably in their late thirties and had been sucking face with Captain Morgan all night. The two single men were the epitome of all that is evil in the mating game. They were saying shit to women who walked by and commented on every set of boobies in the entire place. Then they tried to pick up two girls who couldn't have been more than 17 in the most obnoxious and rude manner possible short of dropping their pants and demanding service. I felt ill. Very, very ill. I believe the line "I'm not going home without some pussy" was spoken more than once. Yeah. I tried so hard to come up with something to say that would destroy them and shrivel their obviously lacking manhood to even smaller raisins, but nothing seemed fitting besides pure castration-by-spoon. I even thought about going up to the table as I was leaving and saying something like, "You are going to die. In two weeks. In a car crash. Stay away from roads...with numbers." But that wasn't good enough. God, I'm getting mad again. And the lone woman in the group...didn't say a damn word. I didn't know if I should feel bad for her or hate her, too, for not speaking up.

Then again, I didn't speak up, either.

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