(click here for part one and here for part two.

5:00- I love my friend. I love her whole damn family. I miss her.

5:30- Goddamnit. It's raining. I was going to ask if I could drive a bit to give my mom a break, but there's no way in hell she'll let me drive now.

6:00- I think I may eat my shoe.

6:10- Florida smells funny.

The sign says "Welcome to Florida. The Sunshine State". My ASS.

6:50- Oh, dear me. I made my mom stop at the Florida welcome center cuz I really wanted some free orange juice. On the curb, right in front of the entrance, were two water bottles filled with piss. Pee. Urine. Wee-wee. They were just standing there, side by side, like little sentinels welcoming all our out-of-state visitors. I am now determined to get those two bottles appointed as our official mascots. I tried to get a picture of one very aghast family of five staring at the two bottles, but my cheapass camera fucked up. I am truly, truly sorry.

6:57- Eek! It's my sign! The one that says "Jesus is Lord at Grandma's Catfish Shack" or something like that! I can't remember the exact name, but hee! And I forgot to rewind my camera so I couldn't get a picture in time. Hate me. Go ahead. You know you want to.

7:25- Oh my god. Look at the sky. Christ. And my mom just mentioned that the signs are starting to jump out at her.

10:00- OK, so we're at a friend's house about an hour and a half from our city. My mom needed to take a nap and now I am sitting outside in the truck bed, writing this by moonlight and smoking my first cigarette since 6:30 this morning. I think we just drove through some kind of polytheistic pissing contest. The skies just opened up and all this water came pouring down. It was crazy. The wind was blowing so hard and we couldn't see more than five feet in front of us. A lot of people just pulled over and waited it out, but my mom wanted to keep on going, going, going. I could have sworn that we were on a bridge and the water was piling up on both sides like walls. I was scared. So was my mom. I turned up Bruce for her and sang along. We are delirious, but that's OK. We have bags of chocolate and my friend bought me the Jimmy Fallon CD. Oh yeah, baby.

This neighborhood is weird. It's not even 11 and everyone is asleep.

I hope someone will want to go out when I get home.

And that's the last of it, folks. Kind of anticlimatic, no?

<<< TOP >>>