Ooo oo - 04.01.03 - 12:15 am
Look!

Did I ever tell you people about the guy who asked me to go dancing with him a couple months ago?

Oh, wait....

WHY THE FUCK IS IT FUCKING COLD OUTSIDE?

Jesus.

Anyway, so I was at work one night and this (not too creepy) regular comes up to me and says, "I have a question." I'm, like, OK. It's a library. People like to ask questions at libraries. His question was: Would you like to go dancing on Friday?

Because of this and the fact that I tower over him by at least three inches, he will now be known as Tiny Dancer. Please make a note of it.

He was visibly nervous and I felt bad for saying no, but dudes. He's old enough to be my father and, well, no. Why do I feel like I even need to justify this? Damn. Isn't not interested enough? Tangent. Anyway, he just shrugged it off and walked away. No big deal.

So fast forward to one week ago. I'm at check in, staring at some spots on a book and trying to figure out if this is the THIRD time I've cleaned up blood at work, when I hear someone say the most forceful and vicious "How you doin'?" I look up to see Tiny Dancer walking by with this very smug look on his face. I am befuddled.

The next night, he does the same thing, except this time he adds (in the same loud and forced tone) "I don't believe I know your name." I say, "Molly." He repeats "Molly" and then says "Tiny Dancer." Then he walks away. Again, befuddled. But more annoyed.

Which leads me to tonight. Again, I am at check in. Again, Tiny Dancer comes up to me and says, "I was going to ask you a question...". He trails off and I continue checking in the books. "Oh, yes!" he continues. "Would you like to have a bite to eat on Saturday?"

I look up at him to notice that he's standing with his feet apart and his hands on his hips, like he's about to start jigging or some fucking thing. I try my damndest to be nice when I tell him, "No, I'm sorry. I'm busy."

Fucker asked for an explanation.

And because I, too, am a fucker, I gave him one. It was a total crock of dirty, dirty lies but that's beside the point.

If you ask a complete fucking stranger out on a date and they say no, for fuck's sake, don't ask why. What if they give you an honest answer? It's never going to be what you want to hear, OK? I KNOW THIS. I am the fucking queen of "explain, please." Just accept it and thank fucking god they never had a chance to get to know you because then the rejection really stomps on your nuts. Or ovaries. Whatever.

And, yeah, you can argue that you never really had a chance and how about we get to know each other over dinner?

No.

Not interested.

In fact, that just makes me even more adamant that you will never, ever stick you tongue down my throat. So stop it.

Oh my fucking god. I really should not be this upset because some guy old enough to be my father keeps trying to pick me up. No, wait. I should be this upset. Why? Because I can't just come out and say "I am not interested in you." Instead, I rely on one-word answers to questions, avoiding eye contact, avoiding any contact, and repeatedly turning him down.

Wait. I never finished my story, did I? OK, so Tiny Dancer stood there for a bit and kept asking questions. I told him that I was very busy with my life and it was a bad time for "anything." No, yes, no, no, yes. When he finally walked away, he made a gun with his fingers and said "Check ya later."

And he was not impersonating Slater from Dazed and Confused.

Oh, fuck this. I'm stupid and mean and who really cares to read about my dumbass male issues? Yeah.

In other news, I put my name down for vacation on the night of my play. The exact words: Molly- Vacation (for play).

Say it outloud.

Ha ha ha. I'm so fucking funny, it just kills me. OK, not really. I had no idea of the sexual connotations until May pointed it out to me. She's such a sinner.

(PS- Happy fucking April Fool's Day! God, I wish this entry were a joke. I truly do.)

<<< TOP >>>

Forever 23, my ass - 01.25.06

P-Nutz - 01.20.06

My nose hurts - 01.16.06

And really bad eggs - 01.13.06

I ain't no Alex Trebek - 01.11.06