The library where I work has a policy that states you can only renew a book for four more weeks once and that's only if no one has placed a hold on it and is waiting. You got that? OK.

From the ever-growing file entitled People Are Fucking Weird.

I was at checkout for the first part of the night and it was pretty busy. Nothing like Sunday's 1020 people in four hours, but there was still a long line.

Anyway, this guy comes up to the counter and puts down a book on plumbing. He asks if he can renew it and I say, well, let's see.

As I am going to renew his book, he starts rambling about placing a hold and I can't understand a damn thing he's saying. He kept speaking in incomplete sentences and his voice was so flat that I had to force myself to pay attention Plus, he was getting all pissy because I didn't know what tapping two fingers on the monitor meant in Prickish.

Finally, I figure out that he wants me to check that the 2nd edition of the book he wanted to renew (which was the 3rd edition) was on hold for him.

I say OK, but first let me see if I can renew this one.

I can't. Someone has it on hold. One of my supervisors, to be exact. The man is now visibly fucking pissed.

Fine, whatever, he says. Put that book on hold for me, too. Am I next to get it? How close am I to getting the 2nd edition? Blah, blah blah, blah.

And then he leaves.

I go to the workroom to bitch to my supervisor about Mr. Antsy Pants and she's already waiting for me.

"He was an ass, right?" she asked. I nodded. Then I told her about the books and how one was on hold for someone else and how the man looked at me like I had just called his grandma a whore when I told him that. My supervisor is very amused by this and tells me the story behind the man.

Apparently, this gentleman has been, for years, checking those two books out, renewing them, and then placing them on hold so when he brings them back, they go right back to him. Every once in awhile, just to spice things up a bit, he tries to renew them twice and yells at whichever person is trying to help him.

One day, he calls up and asks my supervisor how much it would cost him if he lost the books. My supervisor tells him something like twenty dollars per book, but that's just the list price. The man starts flipping out about how these books were out of print and how come he should pay money when we wouldn't even be able to replace them? My supervisor cuts him off and explains that he would probably just be charged seven bucks per book. Seven bucks, yo. Again, man flips out.

These are books about PLUMBING, you guys.

Anyway, I guess everyone is very annoyed with him, which is understandable since the dude has been doing the same thing for years. When I told my supervisor who we were holding the book for, she started laughing. Then she tells me that one of the other supervisors has taken to putting those exact books on hold for herself, her daughter and her husband just to make this guy's eyes bug out.

I found that amusing.

You want to know what's odd? I am positive this entry is too long and a piece of shit and yet I keep typing. Christ. I'm sorry.

I haven't seen LBC in weeks and I don't really care. Oh, man. You know I have it bad for someone when I'm no longer lusting after complete strangers.

<<< TOP >>>