I could almost make a soap opera out of this - 01.22.03 - 1:02 pm
Look!

I am subtly vibrating from all the coffee I've consumed this morning, afternoon, whatever. And I'm still considering going back to bed until I have to leave for work.

Anyway, the past few days I've been trying to come up with names for the remaining five ducklings. It's obvious now that they're not going to leave and I confuse myself when referring to a singular duckling by its gender.

Right now, I've got two of them named.

First, the girl duckling that fucks with Howie is named Shut Up. Because she won't. She stands in the middle of my yard and yells and yells for no goddamn reason. She has a boyfriend that I may name some derivative of "man-servant" because he is so totally Shut Up's bitch.

The second duckling with a name is the male who hangs out by the lake with his two(!) girlfriends. I shall call him Fat Boy. Because he is. If you push him over, he will roll.

I don't know what to name his girlfriends because I can't tell them apart. My mom suggested that I should collectively refer to them as "Fat Boy's harem" but that's just weird. For now, they are just "the ladies."

I was kind of thinking that maybe Shut Up and Fat Boy should hook up cuz they're both total assholes. But then I realized how volatile that relationship would be. That wouldn't be too good.

Fucking A, do I need a hobby.

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