My cat just farted. Again. One more time and I'm throwing her off my lap. Anyway.

It is going to be very, very cold tonight. All day, the weather people have been talking about "arctic winds" and "deep freezes". They're warning the citizens of their viewing area to cover up the flora and bring in the fauna. Cold, cold, cold.

I'm actually looking forward to the chill. The "feels like" temperature for the night is supposed to reach below twenty in some places. And even though I live too close to the coast for it to get that cold, I am still going outside at 2 in the morning to look for snowflakes. Shut up. It has snowed in Central Florida before. Whichever winter it was that we moved here from South Florida. 1989, I think. Little tiny flakes that melted before they hit the ground and could have been dust from your jacket.

I remember I had asked my mom if it would be much colder where we were going and she said we were still too far south for it to really make a difference. Ha. Liar.

So, yeah. I'm going to be running around outside come dawn. Maybe I can find someone to take me to the beach so I can be really stupid. It's windy as hell right here, so it's probably windy enough to suck your skeleton from your skin at the water. That's fun.

Oh, shit. My father just told me that, north of here, it will be negative one with wind chill. That amazes me.

You know, it's giving me an evil sort of pleasure knowing that all those snowbirds who complain about having to pay for a card even though they don't pay property taxes and think that they are entitled to special treatment just because they are "temporary residents" and yell at us like we're children, they are all bundled up in their ugly condos lined up along the beach like a goddamn concrete curtain.

There is so much wrong with that sentence that my brain has shut down in defiance. Sorry.

Oh my god, what the fuck is wrong with my cat?

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