The creature will die - 01.09.03 - 3:23 pm
Look!

I want to the doctor this morning for my gremlin and he told me that I should go to college. Also, I look Spanish. Is your family from Spain? he asked. I said Poland, representin', bitch. He said ahhhh.

It turns out the INTENSE PAIN is caused by muscles, not imps, so he wrote me a prescription for muscle relaxers. I am now waiting for the drug lord at the local pharmacy to call me back so I can listen to some Iron Butterfly and write about the ocean.

He also gave me a bunch of samples and told me to take one a day. I didn't bother to ask what they were for because, I don't know why. I'm so accustomed to taking pills handed to me with no questions asked that it didn't even cross my mind. While I was napping, my brother looked it up and told me they are for "joint pain and intense menstrual cramps." Ha. My little brother said "menstrual." So, yeah.

I've been drugged. Party at my house.

Anyway, the doctor says that the pain is stress-related. I snorted. Stress? I'm not stressed. I mean, my favorite necklace lost its jump ring last night and I couldn't go back to bed until I fixed it, but that's it. Seriously. Then he asked, "Are you having problems with family, money, friends, or relationships?" I considered this for a moment and realized that, maybe, just maybe, things are a little stressful right now. My grandma, my dad laid off, THE FUTURE, Boy, etc..

But I never sat back and thought, damn, things are a bit crazy right now. I haven't been frazzled or any of that shit...just doing my thing and eating lots of bagels.

Oh, whatever. I blame Jeb! for this. His budget cuts and supernatural 'do are causing me great distress and causing the muscles in my shoulders to spasm.

I should write him an angry letter.

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