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Look! I LIVE. Fear me. Um, happy fucking Independence Day or whatever. May and I went to Cocoa Beach. I ate a sandwich. May jumped on the bed. I puked! Lessons learned: I fucking love Cocoa Beach, like totally. Sandwiches are my favorite food. May is not a monkey, therefore cannot injure herself while jumping on beds. 666 COLD MEDICINE should not be chased by Rolling Rock. The end. Not really. On the 4th, we spent 9 hours on the beach. There were fireworks. Everywhere. A million people on the beach and they all had an arsenal in their Bacardi totes. Then there was the barge not even a quarter mile offshore. I cannot even begin to describe how fucking awesome it was to be surrounded on all sides by explosives and getting cramps from crossing your fingers to prevent getting hit by a wayward BOOM. I am sure someone lost a limb but was too drunk to care. God bless America. I did the Ugly chant from Bring It On to the alligator tonight. My mom was not amused. She thinks it's cute in a "can tear a chunk out of your leg" way. Yeah, I do, too. I was just fucking with the creature. He knows it, too. We're down like that. Johnny Depp In Eyeliner vs. Pirate Zombies comes out the day after tomorrow. I am happy. Which reminds me.... Dear Jimmy Fallon, If you were to wear eyeliner and fight pirate zombies, you could pillage this booty, too. Right now, I kinda think you're a sissy. Your almost ex-girlfriend, Molly X Forever 23, my ass - 01.25.06 P-Nutz - 01.20.06 My nose hurts - 01.16.06 And really bad eggs - 01.13.06 I ain't no Alex Trebek - 01.11.06 � |
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