Cheese sandwich! - 05.19.03 - 12:55 am
Look!

Because I love you: there will be more Senseless Photo Essays like the one from Friday. Be prepared for an excellent accidental crotch shot.

Anyway, a couple people are leaving the library, so about fourteen of us got together at a restaurant today for a going away party.

Have I ever mentioned that library ladies know how to fucking party?

The poor server was a rather sexy boy in his early twenties (come to think of it, he kinda looked like Jerkface) and it was like FRESH MEAT. Discussion immediately turned to which of the single ladies could have him. One of my supervisors said, "I could always bring him home to my daughter. It'd be like a doggy bag. She could have what's left of him." I believe I ended up being the one chosen for him since he was all up in my shit or something.

I don't know. I was too busy drinking.

I left him a sixty percent tip.

I got big ups from my boss for being the only person at the table drinking beer. Even though I had margaritas first. In her words, "The margaritas were the appetizer. The beer is the main course." Her comment was even more fitting since I was also the only person who did not order food. Like my mama always said, who needs solids when you have booze?

Word.

I also got to here this very same boss tell stories about her youth and all the badass bars she went to. She said something like now she couldn't believe how she used to go there and hang out with all sorts of fucked-up people. Then, she thought it was just SO COOL and now she realizes the stupidity.

Since I was trying to be Talkative, Open Molly and, um, was drunk, I almost piped up with, "Dude, I totally know how that is. Like, when I was in middle school, we used to hang out with these 23 year old Satanists and smoke a lot of weed. I thought it was pretty neat, but now I'm like 12 year olds? Satanists? Marijuana? That's kinda fucked. Sounds like something in one of those Hell Houses."

But I didn't.

So, yeah. I'm still really excited about getting the hell out of here for a couple days. I keep thinking about that goddamn sandwich, too.

And since Amy is, like, the coolest girl and I do what she says, I've decided on DC for my next trip. I must go to the Natural History Museum or else I may cry tears of extreme patheticness.

Not a word!

Funny how both trips are fueled by cravings for a cheese sandwich and a museum, respectively.

I have decided that this is going to be the summer of Why The Hell Not? Because life rocks and my ass is falling asleep. I made some weird swamp analogy tonight at the diner, but now I can't remember it and just the fact that I bring it up is confusing as hell. I mean, what does a swamp have to do with traveling?

The key is to keep moving.

Hey, you know what? I have no idea where I want to go next. Want to suggest your town? We could have a slumber party and I'll bring you sea shells. Or not. Whatever. This is a big fucking country and I've only been to six little tiny parts of it, counting Florida.

I wanna go.

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