I broke my tooth today.

On a piece of cheese.

I bit into a mozzarella stick and CRUNCH, there goes my tooth. I was all "What the fuck? Cheese?" and my dad laughed at me. It sucked. I should sue, but I swallowed all the evidence.

My cat won't leave me the fuck alone and it's pissing me off because I am premenstrual and all I want to do is finish this entry and go to my room to listen to Cypress Hill and I can't cuz she's in the goddamn way and gnawing on my knuckles and it hurts and I BROKE MY TOOTH ON CHEESE.

Christ.

I also had to chase the fattest fucking raccoon out of Howie's pen today and Little Dude (the rat) spent the morning lying on his back and chewing on his foot like a baby. Thus, I am worried.

Again, pray for Little Dude. He has a nice new cage with lots of toys and happy blankets and I don't care what my mom says. He stays in the living room.

I love Little Dude.

Hey! You! If you're doing NaNoWriMo this year, go here and support your crazy brothers and sisters. And we will support you.

Pimpin' ain't easy, yo.

Oh my god! If I were to make out with someone right now, they would run the risk of severing their tongue! My tooth is all pointy now and oh no! Whatever will I do with the droves of young men waiting for my crazy make out skills? Oh, this is heartbreaking. It's like when that guy from the Bible lost his hair or hat or something. Except I didn't, like, lose my mouth or anything, it's just...OK, nevermind.

Samson, I am not.

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