9/20, duuuude.

That is the first thing to pop into my head when I read the date at the top of the page.

You know that advice- Think before you speak? Well, kids, I spit on that advice. I shake my glowing white ass at whomever first uttered those words. Sometimes, I spank it for emphasis. Yeah....

Don't worry. *I* don't even know what I am talking about.

We've been having a rat problem lately. We and the rest of the fucking town. The rats have decided to take over our houses and no matter how tight you think your dwelling is, they *will* find a way in and eat your Lucky Charms while you sleep.

I have tried to coexist w/these rodents, yet my common sense tells me that a)wild rats *do* carry diseases and b)rat = animal = bodily functions performed regardless of location. Not too cool. When they started peeking at me from little nooks and cranies like 'Ha ha. You don't scare me, little girl' I realized I really had to do something.

So today I went to a pest control place and purchased a humane rat trap. I think that this is, by far, my most favorite purchase this year.

It's this big metal box that looks so totally tough sitting on the floor in my room. It's heavy too, and smells like a factory where big, sweaty men pound iron all day. Baiting the trap is not needed but I did so anyway (peanut butter...Jiff- the rats choice for nut-based spread) cuz it just added more to the experience.

Once I was through w/that, I placed it in my room and scampered outside to watch the show from my window. Unfortunately, the rats don't like the light too much (vampires?) and nothing particularly cool happened. So I was forced to come inside, turn off the lights, and watch sitcoms for the next hour or so.

The trap has been in there since 9 and I haven't caught a single Ben.

They know, man. I don't know how, but they do. OK, so they may have been tipped off when I walked into my room, carrying the trap, and saying 'Alright, fuckers. Your fuzzy asses are *mine*.' I'm sure the giggling din't help much, either.

Catching a rat is very important to me and I don't know why. Hmm. I'm feeling very enigmatic, tonight.

I am going to go now and lay in wait for that lovely sound of the trap door being triggered.

(By the way, I will release them back to the wild once I catch them, so they can have fun finding new ways to back to the house.)

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